Drown
by followmyfeet
Summary: She hears about the explosion, and somehow, she knows.


**AN: So, I didn't really **_**love**_** my last story because it was so cheesy. If you read my last story and liked it, then I'm glad I could amuse you. But anyway, here's a different one. It's still Royai, but not so romantic, a little angsty, and still might be slightly cheesy.**

**Based off the song Drown by Tyler Joseph**

**Enjoy.**

_I walk to you, rain falls from you._

_Can you wash me, can you drown me?_

_All units in the southeast sector report to the fertilizer plant on Eighth and Grant. A fire has started after an explosion within the plant and all units need to report. Again. All units in the southeast sector report to the fertilizer plant on Eighth and Grant._

Riza stands in the kitchen holding a saucepan and a spoon when she hears it. The smell of chicken broth and shampoo from her wet hair wafts through the apartment. Black Hayate is curled up beneath her feet, eyes closed and dozing silently. Out of habit, Riza had the radio tuned into the military communications line.

She hears about the explosion, and somehow she _knows_.

The pan and spoon are quickly dropped onto the counter and the stove turns off. Hayate's head perks up to look at his owner run to the bedroom. He follows her and watches as she pulls clothes out of drawers and messily puts her hair up in the usually style. Hayate looks up at her, his face asking Riza what was going on in the silent way that dogs do.

Riza sighs. "Sorry Hayate, but something happened with the Colonel."

She hustles to the door, slipping on shoes and a coat. Her hands turn the knob, and she slips out of her apartment silently. Hayate stares at her as she shuts the door, his eyes and posture seemingly expressing worry.

"Be a good boy. I'll be back soon."

Riza makes her way out into the street. She doesn't have a car, so she'll have to travel on foot a few blocks. She walks for maybe block, not wanting to call attention to herself by running, but soon the worry gets to her, and she breaks into a quick jog.

For once, she had taken a couple of days off. It had only been a couple of weeks since Hughes died, and she and the team were in the middle of preparing to transfer to Central. As a result, trying to keep the Colonel in line had been a harder job than usual. Not that she blamed him, but needless to say, Riza felt she had earned some recovery time.

Now though, she wishes she would've waited to take some time off. Riza had heard about the mission her team went on tonight. Havoc had told her it would be an easy, run of the mill weapons bust.

_But if there is a fire…_

Riza tries to push her worries out of her mind.

_The Colonel is better than that_, she tells herself. _He isn't that reckless._ _He wouldn't use his alchemy unless absolutely necessary_. She can't convince herself. He would be that reckless, especially after losing Hughes and her absence over the last few days.

She focuses on running.

A few more blocks and she can smell the smoke.

A few more and the heat is making her sweat.

When Riza finally reaches the scene of the fire, the air around her is thick and her skin feels like its burning. She looks around the frantic setting, seeing dozens of military personnel and firefighters running around frantically.

She spotts Havoc and Breda speaking to one of the firefighters, and she quickly ducks under the caution tape and runs to them. Havoc spots her first and gives a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. Breda sees her too, and he looks a little put off by her appearance. Her team doesn't typically see her in civilian clothes, much less with soaked hair.

"Well well well," Havoc says shakily. "Even on her day off the Hawk can't help but come to her team's aide."

"What happened?" she asks tersely, not caring to make small talk.

"Well…" Havoc starts. "We went in, everything was fine. Breda and I found the room where the weapons were being stockpiled, so we radioed the Colonel and then…" He pauses, his hand coming up to rub his forehead. "I need a cigarette."

"Havoc," she snaps.

"Right, sorry. Um… then we heard gunshots, and then they were everywhere. These people were just shooting at us. Mustang finally found us. He said he had already told Falman and Fuery to get out, and he told us the same. So we did. I thought he was right behind us, Hawkeye, I swear, but-"

"Where is he?" she asks quietly.

Havoc and Breda exchange worried looks, and for the second time tonight, she _knows_.

Without a second thought Riza turns and sprints toward the burning building. She ignores the protests from Havoc and Breda, and she ignores the bewildered looks of Fuery and Falman as she passes on her hurried way. Her mind is only focused on finding him, and finding him before he does something completely reckless and self-destructive.

Riza circles the building and finds a safe entrance in the back. She skillfully slips in through the doorway, avoiding the flames trying to like her body. Violent coughs erupt from her after she accidentally inhales the thick smoke. She pulls her shirt over her mouth and nose, a feeble attempt at trying to keep the fumes out of her lungs. Already her eyes sting and the inferno seems to singe the flesh from her bones.

She forces herself to forget the pain. Only one thing matters, and she can't afford to let her wellbeing get in the way. Riza wants to find him quickly, but unfortunately the raging fire is preventing that. Slowly she picks her way through the flames and burning debris.

"Colonol!" she shouts in between coughs. Her voice is weak, but it doesn't stop her. "Mustang!" she tries again.

She isn't alone in the building. People are scrambling towards exits and screaming in terror. Presumedly, they are the people who were stockpiling the weapons. The same people who had shot at her team and caused this whole mess. They pay her no mind, more concerned with getting out alive than anything.

Riza isn't sure how long she had been searching when she finally finds him. He is kneeling in a circle of the floor untouched by the fire, probably something he had learned to do with alchemy. His arms fell limp at his sides, and his shoulders and neck are hunched in defeat. She steps into the circle, immediately feeling relief from the heat and smoke.

"Colonel Mustang," she says hoarsely.

He lifts his head up to meet her eyes. Recognizing her, his face morphs into a broken smile. "Hello, Lieutenant." His head returns to its original position.

"Colonel, we need to get out of here. The building could collapse at any moment," she tells him firmly, not letting the worry seep into her voice.

He looks around, and it's almost like he is just noticing that they are standing in a burning building. He shrugs, "We'll be fine for a few minutes."

Riza shakes her head in disbelief as her feet slowly move toward him. She kneels down beside his still body and hesitantly puts a hand on his shoulder.

"Colonel," she whispers. He doesn't move. "Roy," she speaks, and his breath hitches. "What is wrong?"

He shudders, and he is silent for a few moments, but he eventually answers. "I… I don't want to do this anymore."

"Do what anymore?" Riza asks in confusion.

"This," he says, gesturing to their surroundings. "I want to be stronger than this. I keep hitting this wall, Riza. I try so hard to be good, but then…" his eyes pinch shut and he sighs, "then I always end up destroying everything. And then you are always right there with me, hitting that same wall."

"Roy, we need to go," she states, deciding that this conversation could wait until a building wasn't about to collapse on them. "We can talk about this la-"

"Sometimes I wish you didn't follow everywhere," he interrupts, and Riza couldn't stop the pang of hurt she felt shoot through her body. "But I need you too much to let you go. I just wish you didn't have to get hurt in the process of helping me."

The Colonel shook his head hopelessly. Riza now realizes that there is no way he was moving until he got whatever was bothering him off his chest. She prays to every god she doesn't believe in to not let this building collapse on them.

"Riza," he continues softly. "I have been trying _so_ hard to wash myself of sin." He looks up, and he seems to be holding back tears. "But now it just seems I'm drowning in them."

She is quiet for a moment, and her mind tries to form the words she wants to say. These feelings he is having aren't new. Riza can't count how many times the Colonel had become upset by destruction he'd caused with his own hands in Ishval, but no mental breakdown had ever been this bad.

Riza takes a deep breath. "Roy, I _know_. Okay? I _know_," she gets out shakily. He is unresponsive. "It has been _so_ hard to forget every day because it's what we have to do just to wake up. And it is _damn_ near impossible to keep trying after everything before just went to waste. But we do it, alright? For every time we hit that wall, we have one more chance to get back up, _and we take it_, because that's what we have to do. We just have to, okay?"

Slowly, the Colonel nods his head. Riza smiles sorrowfully. She stands up and holds out her hand to him. He takes it, letting her pull him up.

"And for the record, Colonel," she says quietly, attempting at a little humor, "I need you just as you need me."

He smiles, and it's bittersweet, but it's a smile. Roy pulls her into a tight desperate hug, and Riza returns it just as ardently for a few moments. Eventually though she pulls away and tells him they really do need to get out of the building. He uses alchemy to part the flames for them. He grasps her hand as they search for an exit, and he doesn't let go, so neither does she.

**Like it? Love it? Hate it? Catch an embarrassing mistake in grammar and/or certain details? Let me know, it means the world to me.**


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